My Happiness Project- Post 3/My Focus is Faith this month

     I am through two weeks in the second month of My Happiness Project.  In August I have focused on Faith.
     My resolutions are:
Let go and let God
Give thanks
Practice mindfulness 
     With 100% transparency I have found it harder to keep motivated on my project.  It's probably because I have finished The Happiness Project book, and now I am left to my own devices.
    Let go and let God has been a bit difficult for me.  I don't necessarily feel like I need to control everything, but I do feel like I need to be active and accountable with issues that come up in my job, with my relationships, etc.  What I have learned is: you need to determine if what you are dealing with can actually be changed by you.  For example, you can choose to think positive and bring good energy to a work meeting.  On the other hand, you can't change how another person reacts to a situation.  You need to let that go.  All you can do is control the way you let it affect you.  It's easier said that done, especially for someone who has empathy as their number one strength.
     Giving thanks has been relatively easy this month.  I even started the month giving a quick thanks for certain things as I went through my day.  Thank you for running water, a cup of coffee, clean clothes to wear, my car, my job, the computer I need to do my job, etc.  It's really hard to maintain this through the entire day, but when I do take time to give a moment of thanks, I appreciate it more.  I don't want to take things for granted.
     I have yet to do anything to practice mindfulness.  I feel like this would be the most helpful in calming some of my anxiety that creeps up.  Does anyone have a suggestion on what I can do (other than yoga)?

     Note: I have also been keeping up with most of my resolutions from month one (boost energy).

My Happiness Project- Post 2 "Am I really happier?"

     One month into my happiness project and I think it's only natural to ask, "Do I really feel happier?"  I would honestly have to say yes.  Just as honestly, I would have to admit I'm not 100% sure why.  Is it because I have this project/book to distract me from the rough time I've been having lately?  Or is it because I thought about and listed out certain resolutions I wanted to work on for the month (and held myself accountable)?
     It's a combination of both.  The project/book and resolutions have fueled some motivation in me that I hope doesn't leave anytime soon.
     Boosting energy was my focus for the month.  I was surprised to find it so easy to act more energetic.  Looking back on my resolutions chart I was successful all but eight days this month.  I take that as a win based on where I was starting from (and because I'm just starting my own project).  I also will give my credit for exercising more.  Between playing softball, mowing the grass, and taking three mile walks, I nailed this resolution.
     Don't get me wrong, the whole month didn't go smooth.  One day into the third week of the month, I got too much into my own head.  I let the negative thought take me down.  I was in a bad mood for a few days before I got back on track.  It's life, and that's going to happen.  Learning to find that happiness again is what matters.
     One of my favorite quotes from The Happiness Project book is, "Enjoy now.  If I can enjoy the present, I don't need to count on the happiness that is (or isn't) waiting for me in the future."  That got me thinking....  How do you enjoy the present and not worry about what the future holds?  Any suggestions?

My Happiness Project- post 1

     It's been about a year now (welcome back if you've read some of my previous post) since I last blogged.  I couldn't find the words I'd want to share.  I've found something!  I've just started this wonderfully, fascinating book called The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin.  For years I've struggled with my own happiness.  Why can't I just be happy?  I have so many great things in my life.  I don't want to seem ungrateful, or someone who's never satisfied.  I also don't want to be fake, and at times I can't seem to find a smile.  This book has put into words how I've been feeling for so long now.  It's validating to know someone else has felt the same way as me, and has successfully taken stock of their life.  One of the best parts is that Gretchen has already done a ton of research on happiness. 

     One point about this book I want to emphasize is that it's not placing your happiness or unhappiness at the hands of anyone else but yourself.  "Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."  You decide how to treat people, you decide how to react to a situation, you decide the words that come out of your mouth.

     I'm going to be super vulnerable and share My Happiness Project.  I'm not waiting until I finish the book.  I'm starting now!  For the month of July I'm going to do something similar to Gretchen Rubin and work on boosting my energy.

       July 2019- Boost Energy (Vitality)

       Resolutions: exercise more

                            act more energetic

                            clean out the clutter (organize my closet)

                            watch less T.V.

     I will follow up in a week or two to let you know my progress as I document any changes I'm noticing or any set backs I may experience.  Consider starting your own project and share with me what your doing.  Let's find that happiness!

Thoughts of suicide? There is Help!

(Article for The Best Times- July-August 2018 Johnson County, Kansas)

By: Kristen Reese

Suicide is complex.  There is no age group, gender, race, etc. that it does not impact. This has never been more evident than with the recent death by suicide of two high-profile celebrities who appeared to have it all.

According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, suicide is the 10^th leading cause of death in the United States. 

Suicide prevention is everyone’s business. 

“More than one Kansan dies everyday from suicide,” Tim DeWeese, director of Johnson County Mental Health Center, said. 

He advises residents to learn ways to identify if a loved one is at risk of suicide.  Warning signs may include:

• increased substance abuse (alcohol or drug);
• no reason for living, no sense of purpose in life;
• anxiety, agitation, unable to sleep or sleeping all the time;
• feeling trapped, like there is no way out;
• withdrawn from friends, family and society;
• rage, uncontrolled anger, seeking revenge; or,
• acting reckless or engaging in risky activities, seemingly without thinking.

Once you’ve determined someone is exhibiting a warning sign, use your voice and resources to get the person help.  Show interest and support, being willing to listen, offer hope that alternatives are available, be available and reach out. 

You can start a conversation by stating; “I have been feeling concerned about you lately” or “I wanted to check in with you because you haven’t seemed yourself lately.” 

You can ask the question directly: “Have you had thoughts of suicide?”  It can be daunting and uncomfortable when you know someone who is thinking of suicide. Don’t let that stop you.  It is safe to ask questions. They will see you as a person they can confide it. Be familiar with the resources available.

If you have immediate concern about someone’s safety, call 911 right away!  

Additional crisis resources available are: Johnson County Mental Health Center 24/7 Crisis Line, call 913-268-0156 or to access services call 913-826-4200; you can also contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 24/7 at 800-273-TALK (8255) or text 741741.

Other helpful websites for community and national resources, coping with suicide loss and tools for providing support:

 www.jocogov.org/suicideprevention

 www.facebook.com/JOCOMNH

 www.afsp.org/about-afsp

Another way is to get involved in suicide prevention efforts in our community is by joining/volunteering in the Johnson County Suicide Prevention Coalition. The coalition saves and supports life, with our community partners, through awareness, education and outreach. For more information, visit jocogov.org/spc or call 913-715-7880.

Together, as a community, we will make a difference!

 

Kristen Reese works in administrative support-prevention and community relations at the Johnson County Mental Health Center.

Walking Down a Dirt Road

              

             There’s just something about walking down a dirt road that brings me peace.  There’s a stillness, a quiet that you don’t get in the city.  It’s hard to get a sense of distance.  You can walk for miles and get lost in your own thoughts.

              A mile or so into my walk I come to a house with a dog enjoying his many acres.  As soon as he sees me, he comes down to the road at the edge of his property.  He didn’t bark.  I think he was just curious.  His way of saying hello.  I continue walking.  I take in the beautiful fall leaves- red, yellow, and orange.  I look down and notice the dirt on my shoes.  I don’t care though; I’m enjoying the weather and calm.

              Once a year at Thanksgiving I get out of the city and travel three hours to the country in Hesston, KS.  Everyone should make it a point to disconnect from the world for a time, at least once a year.  Life can get so busy.  We do it to ourselves, planning activity after activity so we don’t have to be alone for too long.  I for one, like being alone…sometimes.  I like to be still and hear my own thoughts.  It also gives me the opportunity to send up a special prayer to God.  Reflection is key to making the hard decisions in life.  Thinking about the past, looking at where you’re at now, and where you want to go.  Are you currently where you want to be?  Are you the person you want to be?  What do you need to change?  It’s impossible to think about those things with all the distractions we have these days: T.V., social media, etc.  So, find your country road.  The place you can get away from it all.

Defining Moments

     In 2005-2006 I worked in the retail store at the Wildhorse Saloon.  The store was located in the far back corner of the venue, and when I heard Gwen Sebastian voice soar through the building I couldn’t help but take notice.  I asked a co-worker who had worked there longer than me, “Who is that singing?”   I have been a fan ever since!

     She has new music coming out today; find out how you can get it in the feature below.

Defining Moments

          

  “I began singing at a very early age with my parents who were musicians as well as farmers,” said singer songwriter, Gwen Sebastian.  She grew up on a cattle ranch in North Dakota.  Sebastian began writing songs in high school.  “My inspiration comes from everyday life.  People on the street, my friends, my husband and sometimes watching my favorite TV shows gives me ideas,” said Sebastian.

            There are defining moments in anyone’s career.  These moments lead you down a path, and one decision leads to the next.  Sebastian’s first moment came when she visited Nashville for the first time.  “I was in nursing school and after making a trip to a Nashville Music Convention, I decided it was time to make the move permanent,” said Sebastian.

            After years of playing writer’s rounds at the Bluebird Café and other venues, Sebastian started her own band.  I believe this was her second defining moment.  “We were the house band at the Wildhorse Saloon and traveled the country performing over 250 dates per year,” said Sebastian.  During this time she opened for acts such as; Taylor Swift, Sugarland, and Dierks Bentley.  “It was hard at first.  Being a musician means not being able to go to your best friend’s wedding or a family reunion, because you’re usually working on the weekends,” said Sebastian.

            A third defining moment can in 2012.  Sebastian had three red chairs turn for her during her blind audition for season two of The Voice.  She ultimately picked team Blake.  That decision lead to her to joining his tour as part of his band.  In 2014, Sebastian had her first number one single on the Country Airplay Charts singing with Blake Shelton on his single, “My Eyes”.  “My parents taught me how to harmonize.  My other influences are; Emmy Lou Harris, Pat Benatar, Bonnie Raitt, Trisha Yearwood, and The Eagles, all whom have stayed true to their art,” said Sebastian.

            Playing the Grand Ole Opry for the first time in 2013 is one of Sebastian’s fondest musical memories.  "Playing the Opry for the first time was a spiritual experience, one that I'll never forget," said Sebastian.

            This year and into 2018, Sebastian is on tour with Miranda Lambert as part of her band.  She also has co-writing credit on three songs off Lambert’s latest album, ‘The Weight of These Wings’.

            Sebastian is always working on her own music as well.  “My current single, “Quicksand” is out now and my new album ‘Once Upon a Time in the West: Act I’ will be released November 17^th,” said Sebastian.  You can check out all her music at her website, www.gwensebastian.com or on iTunes.

            “Don’t settle” is a motto Sebastian lives by.  You never know when an opportunity can become a defining moment.

Gwen Sebastian on Social Media:

Facebook: gwensebastianmusic

Instagram: gwensebastian

Twitter: GwenSebastian

Empathy is Key

     I've been having trouble sitting down to write lately.  I don't feel like I have any inspiration these days, and struggle with what to say.  Today, I thought I would try a writing prompt to jump start some thoughts.
     Prompt:  If you could invent something to help mankind, what would it be?
    
     This is an interesting prompt that came up after a year filled with so much hate, unrest, and violence in Kansas City and around the world.  I think about the 152 homicides in the metro area thus far, the 58 killed and hundreds more injured by a gunman in Las Vegas while they were attending a concert, those that face racism/discrimination on a daily basis, and the terrorist attacks overseas.  My heart goes out to those affected.  With that being said, I wish that I could invent a medication that would give everyone empathy.  Why empathy?  Well, empathy is "the ability to understand and share the feelings of another".  I believe that the people who commit the heinous acts I've mentioned lack empathy.  If they did, they never would have intentionally caused pain to another individual by guns, words, etc.  It would force the person to stop and think about what they were about to do or say.  You would have the ability to understand what affect the action would have on the other person.  You've heard the idiom, "Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes," it's a reminder to think of other's feelings.
     I think one of the most important characteristics a person can have in the quest to make the world a better place is empathy.  There are many news stories and viral videos around the internet to validate this point.
     I challenge everyone who reads this (including myself) to think of a way you can go above and beyond to show kindness to someone you know really needs it.  Take action, be the medicine someone else needs!
***Feel free to share any of your stories with me at reesewritings@gmail.com.